British

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Oh the British, in the SummerGrowing up in Northern California, I was used to plenty of sunshine. But people are not so lucky in the UK. And when the weather gets hot, they go a little crazy. And by 'a bit crazy', I mean the lose their minds and go CRAY-ZEE. And Brits keep talking about the sun having its hat on, whatever that means.

I have previously written about some eccentricities of Brits as well offering some American-British translation, but I thought I'd focus a post on the heatwave (happening this week). If you are new to the UK, please be warned. And if you have been living in the UK for many years, as I have, you may even begin to start acting a bit heat-crazy yourself.

1. British people start stripping off. From very large men in too-small shorts walking down the road, to my kids refusing to wear clothes at home. You would think it was 40C, but it's only 27C.Oh the British Heatwave

2. All meals are eaten outside. In the garden, the BBQ becomes king. Or else you have a picnic on any patch of grass you can find.

Oh the British, HeatwaveOh the British, in the Summer

3. It's an excuse for drinking even more alcohol than usual, preferably outside. And Brits love drinking booze in tins.

Oh the British, in the Summer Oh the British, in the Summer

4. Gardens are turned into waterparks. Health and safety be damned.

Oh the British, in the Summer Oh the British, in the Summer

5. All meals consist of sausages and ice cream.Oh the British, HeatwaveOh the British, in the Summer

6. British people will drive hours to the nearest beach. Who cares if the sand is covered in pebbles and the ocean is too cold to swim in. They're going to the beach, dammit.

Oh the British, in the Summer

7. And then the rains come, and are often accompanied by thunder and lightning and even hail.

Oh the British, in the Summer

 

 

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I am starting to have trouble understanding my daughter. I blame the fact that she is in her second year of school. Moozles spends so much time with British people. Most of her friends and teachers. Her father. It does not matter that I was her primary influence for the first four years of her life. It does not matter that I am her favourite person in the world. She still talks bloody funny. She talks all Britishy, with a funny accent. She doesn't open her mouth and articulate like an American. Like me. I love the kid, but sometimes I want to shake the British accent right out of her. Um, is that wrong?


*Please note that there were no half-British/half-American children harmed in the making of this post.