Sorry to disparage British folk, but a lot of self-catering cottages are beyond dated. Grandma sofas and granny blankets. I like sofas that don’t look like they harbour millions of parasites. And we’re a family of four, we can’t just squeeze onto one small sofa. I like duvets with white bedding. I like wooden floors, not old carpeting that makes me sneeze from the owner’s cats. I need a dishwasher because my kids never stop eating and drinking, and I don’t do dishes at home so why would I do them on holiday? I need a washing machine/tumble dryer. I want a fridge and a decent size freezer–on our holidays we eat lots of chips and ice cream.
We all need comfy beds. A bathtub is a must. My kids don’t like showers. A shower too? Fab, Husband and I don’t have time for baths. Speaking of bathing, I want my hot water and heating included. And my towels. We don’t have room in our car for damn towels. I can barely fit in my pillow. I never sleep away from home without my special tempur pillow.
What did you say–lovely grounds that the children can play in and have a wander? And a lovely playground that is reachable in about two minutes in the car?! Oh, yes Norburton Hall. You will see us again. Maybe next time we will bring the grandparents and stay in the Gardener’s Cottage. Husband and I would love free babysitting quality family time.
I booked this week’s holiday to Dorset about two months ago. We didn’t have a holiday last year so this break was much-needed. The trouble is, when you haven’t been away in a while, is that you forget the difficulties of a holiday. Gone are the non-children-having holidays. I used to pack for my husband and myself before jetting off to somewhere cool and hip. Then we’d eat all our meals out, drink lots of booze, have lots of sex and sleep-in.
Oh, how times have changed. These days my poor old Husband must pack for himself because I have to pack for myself and both kids. I also have to pack snacks and various essential items. I almost never forget anything for the kids. But I often forget things that I need. This trip, I forgot to pack socks and panties for myself. Ugh.
So if you are pregnant, or have a baby, and want to know what to really expect from your holiday with a toddler, here it goes:
1. Most likely, you will stay in the country as you can’t face to take your toddler on an airplane. Not all toddlers are terrors when flying. By the time my daughter was four, we had taken her to the USA twice, The Seychelles, Spain, Malta and Guam. My son, who is 23 months old, doesn’t even have a passport. The thought of taking him on an airplane sends shivers down my spine.
2. Rather than going to a cool, boutique hotel, you will be staying in a self-catering cottage/apartment/caravan.
3. There is NO sleeping in. You will wake up at your usual time of 6.00am because that is when your children will wake up. You could try alternating sleeping-in with your partner, but the shrieks will keep you from falling back to sleep. However, your partner will be able to sleep through the cries, as always. My husband actually sleeps better as he can then sleep diagonally across the bed.
4. Rather than wandering around the area aimlessly or going shopping or looking at art galleries, you are exploring all the nearest farms and playgrounds.
5. You will then rush back to your ‘home’ so that the toddler can nap in their travel cot in the afternoon. If you have just the one child, this is when you can relax. If you have another/more children, then it’s time for more ‘fun’.
|I don’t want to nap, I want to play all day long.|
6. You will eat most of your meals at your holiday home. Not to save money, but to save the embarrassment.
|Yes, I’m normally quite a greedy toddler but I’ll just play with Daddy’s wallet on the restaurant floor then demand food when we get into the car.|