Thoughts on Having a Son

After I got married, I had this vision of family life – a little girl and then a little boy. But then I had my daughter, and could not envisage having another child. I had endured horrible all-day sickness during my pregnancy, and then had a c-section. I didn’t want to go through that again. And we were happy. Our family of three was perfect. I loved my daughter so much, and I couldn’t imagine loving another child as much. ‘But your vision’, Husband said. ‘What about that boy?’

There were many reasons, but really, I was scared of having a son. Now, I didn’t actually know I would have a boy. But I felt fairly confident. I had been certain I would have a girl first, and I did. And for some reason, I felt quite sure I would have a boy next. And I was terrified. I was afraid of cleaning little boy genitals. I was frightened of having one of those crazy out-of-control boys that one sees terrorising playgrounds. And I was worried that I could not love a naughty son as much as my angelic daughter.

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Summer Shopping at SimplyBe

Hooray, it’s May! That means that summer is at our fingertips. I can’t wait to go out without a jacket and enjoy some warm weather. We’re off to France in a couple of weeks and I have high hopes for lovely weather. So I’ve gotten myself a few new things to make my wardrobe feel summery.

As a curvy lady in my 40s, I want to look stylish but definitely not frumpy. SimplyBe recently offered me some holiday outfits, and I was keen to choose some items that would make be feel chic. And I went straight to the dresses. I love how easily dresses can be dressed up or down, depending on accessories. I chose this indigo t-shirt dress as it is looked so comfy. And I wasn’t let down when it arrived. It’s nice and loose, so would be perfect attire for pizza, wine and ice cream (our favourite holiday meal). It looks nice with capris and a scarf for a bit of sightseeing, but it can also be thrown over your swimsuit for a more casual look. I’m debating getting the striped version as I love this dress so much.

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I’ve Got Spring In My Heart

You know how I love a good tree. All sorts, all shapes. But in the spring my heart belongs to blossom trees. They lift my spirits. I stop to take photos of them as I walk around. I coo over them on Instagram. A bright blossom tree fills my heart with joy. We only have another couple of weeks, and then the blossoms will be all over the ground. But for now, rejoice in the blossoms. Spring is here!

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New Hairdo at Rush Wimbledon Village

I have a love-hate relationship with hair salons. I love having someone else wash (and massage) my hair. I love a good cut and blow-dry. But I hate the worry of a bad or unflattering hair cut. I hate it when my fringe is not cut perfectly straight. So when I was invited to try out the brand-new Rush Hair & Beauty in Wimbledon Village, I felt a bit nervous. But I was also excited as I had been wanting a new hairdo for a few months.

First impressions were good. Wimbledon Village is quite a nice area, so I would never expect to see a shabby shop or a bargain hair salon there. Rush Wimbledon Village looks quite luxurious. And besides the normal tea and coffee, I was excited to see that they also offer Prosecco (shame I was driving). My hair stylist, Zoe, turned out to understand my hair (fine, but wavy and there’s A LOT of it). I showed her a couple of photos of hairstyles that I liked, and we talked about ways to make my hair look nice whether I straighten it or wear it naturally wavy.

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A Little Camo In The Springtime

I have put away my winter coats. Call me reckless, but I am ready for spring. We have already had some lovely days in the past couple of weeks (though we have also had a couple of cold, windy days). But I have decided to dress for the weather I want, so my wardrobe has had a bit of a spring overhaul. I’ve been adding colours to my usual monochromatic colour scheme and I have a new camouflage jacket that is jazzing up my outfits.

Camouflage and khaki are really big this spring. I was a bit nervous that I was too ‘mature’ for camo, But you get to a point in your life when you have to say ‘f*ck it’. No 40-something wants to be accused of dressing too young, but I think fashion is more fluid these days. Teenagers and women in their 60s can be found shopping side by side in places like H&M. So I’m trying not to think of my age, and to just wear clothes that make me happy.

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A Mental Health Walk

Husband rarely goes away for work, but once a year he attends a conference with his firm. This year he used our car, which isn’t a big deal as the weather was nice and I happily walked everywhere with the kids (he was only gone for 1 1/2 days). But the girl was a bit of a nightmare on Saturday. And when Husband arrived home at 3.30pm, I was happy to see him. But I knew I also needed some time alone. So I grabbed the car at 3.35pm and went for a mental health walk in Richmond Park.

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Brunch And Early Mother’s Day Treats

Who doesn’t love brunch?! But brunch and the most thoughtful Mother’s Day gifts? And did I mention the hot tea and coffee brought to the table? That’s every mum’s dream. The lovely folks from I Just Love It wanted to show some of us mothers how appreciated we are. And feel appreciated we did.

The table was set beautifully, and I knew immediately where to sit as there was a plate with the initials ‘EW’. You know I love things with my name or initial on. I think everyone does, but especially when you have an unusual name. As you can imagine, I never had anything with ‘Elfa’ when I was growing up. There was a personalised vintage dessert spoon that read ‘There’s No Better Mum Than Elfa’. I’m leaving it casually around the house,hoping the sentiment seeps into my family sub-conscious. Other cute tableware included a vintage butter knife, an egg cup and mum hi ball glass, both of which had my name on them.

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A Little Change, In Lipstick

We all get into a rut sometimes. I basically wear four similar lipsticks, all of a reddy brown or pinky brown colour. I remember trying pink lipstick as a teenager and realising that it didn’t suit me because of my brown lips. Actually, it is my brown upper lip that changed the pink colour and then my lips didn’t match. But 41 is a lot easier than 18, in so many respects. And I’ve recently started to embrace my very full, brown lips.

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Do Good Parents Curse?

There is something so satisfying about cursing. A crazy driver cuts you off; you stub your toe; or maybe you’re telling a funny anecdote to your friends. During these, and many other situations, an ‘oh dear’ or ‘meanie’ just won’t suffice. Sometimes only a curse word will do. But when many of us became parents, we tried to reduce our cursing. I know I did. I didn’t want my precious little angels picking up my bad habit. And I was quite successful for the first seven years. But in the last year, my love of swearing has returned. And with a vengeance.

Last weekend, while my daughter was doing her homework at the dining table, I was on the opposite side of the table chatting with Husband. He gave me some surprising news and my initial response was ‘F*ck me’. As soon as I said the words I looked at my eight-year old daughter, who was only a couple of feet away. I had hoped she was too engrossed in her homework. She was not. She smiled while still looking down at her paper. The secret was out. Mummy has a potty mouth.

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I Don’t Believe in New Year’s Resolutions, Except…

Every year, when people talk of New Year’s resolutions, I explain that I don’t do resolutions. For years I have explained to friends that resolutions shouldn’t be saved for the first of January. If you want to change your life, then just do it. But the last few months have passed in a whirlwind. And I have spent so much time focusing on others, which means that I have neglected myself. But this needs to change, and January will mark the new year of the new me.

I shouldn’t really say ‘new me’. I plan to remain the same old Elfa. But with one major tweak. I am making fitness and healthy eating as priorities in my life. This is the year where I will finally get fit and tone up. Part of that is definitely losing some of the baby weight. Long-term readers might remember that I managed to lose a stone and a half (21 pounds) in 2015 in preparation for my 40th birthday. Sadly I gained all the weight back last year, plus a few extra pounds for good measure.

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