There's something you all need to know
There's something I have to get out
My eldest child was a darling,
When she was two, never did she pout
She skipped the terrible twos and threes
She was such an amiable girl
But now that she's six, oh my,
My life is in an utter whirl
She makes fun of my American accent
She laughs at the way I saw water
She doesn't listen to what I say
She thinks she's the mum and I'm the daughter
She makes fun of my American accent
She laughs at the way I saw water
She doesn't listen to what I say
She thinks she's the mum and I'm the daughter
She screams and shouts and kicks
She even calls me names
Stupid and Poopoo Head
are some of the ways she defames
Me, her dearest mother
Does not know what to do
I am tired of being battered,
Of being left black and blue
I really love my daughter
I'll probably keep her around for a while
But if she doesn't stop being an a**hole,
My son will be an only child
Okay, okay, I'm joking
I know that I am blessed
To have healthy children,
Even if they sometimes act possessed
So if you're ever feeling down
And think you're in this alone
Your child is not the only monster,
Come to my blog and together we'll have a moan.
Stupid and Poopoo Head
are some of the ways she defames
Me, her dearest mother
Does not know what to do
I am tired of being battered,
Of being left black and blue
I really love my daughter
I'll probably keep her around for a while
But if she doesn't stop being an a**hole,
My son will be an only child
Okay, okay, I'm joking
I know that I am blessed
To have healthy children,
Even if they sometimes act possessed
So if you're ever feeling down
And think you're in this alone
Your child is not the only monster,
Come to my blog and together we'll have a moan.
If you enjoyed this, and my other posts, please vote for me in the Fresh Voice category for the Brilliance in Blogging awards (Bibs). Voting closes tonight, the 16th May, at midnight. With all the tantrums I have to deal with, I really need your votes! For my six dedicated readers who have already voted--cheers me dears (for my international readers, that's how British people say thank you).
Sam
Oh my! Sounds like a delightful (hopefully shortlived?) phase!! And that photo - what a face! Great poem Elfa X
Californian Mum
Thanks Sam. That's one of her nicer faces. Some of them are really demonic looking. 🙁 xx
Ang Gallant
Lovely, honest and funny poem, love it!
Michelle (Twice a mummy)
I love that photo, one for her 18th 😉 Great poem too x
Californian Mum
Thank you!
Californian Mum
I love how mine adds 'head' at the end of various words to make it a mean word to call me. 🙁
Debbie Johnson
I am laughing, whilst thinking I can't given I have this to come! A lovely poem, especially because it includes my three children's favourite world (of course it's 'poo-poo head'!)
Clare Nicholas
I think you may have my daughter I'm afraid. Sorry but can you keep her.
Joking aside I feel for you as my 4 yr old is the same
Tami Anderson
Oh dear 🙁 Sounds like she is a little monster at the moment! Hope she turns back into that adorable little child again soon!
Kirsty Phillipson-Lowe
My little girl (twin) is 27months and a little madam. Already she folds her arms and says no! I'm hoping she'll soon get over it! A great poem, loved it x