Oh The British

Since I began blogging six months ago, my UK readership has been double that of my American readership. But in the last month my American readership has greatly increased. I'm not sure why. But it IS exciting. So I thought I would write a post geared towards my American readers (*waves excitedly*) to give some insight into British people. As for my British readers, sit back and enjoy the generalisations and sterotypes. Let me know if there are any with which you strongly agree or disagree. 

Obviously British people love tea, scones, chocolate and biscuits. But what else do you know about them?

1. British people love pork sausages. I mean, they LOVE them. For breakfast, lunch, dinner, BBQs. My kids prefer chipolatas, which are just thinner sausages. My Husband and kids eat a ridiculous amount of sausages per week. And if I forget to buy them one week, I get HELL. 

 

2. British people enjoy drinking in pubs (bars from the olden days). They go after work or on the weekends. Sometimes they go during their lunch breaks. At my first job in London, almost 12 years ago, my colleagues would go to the pub from 1pm-2pm every Friday afternoon. What?! I still don't get that, and I LOVE drinking. 3. British people love gin. And beer. And gin some more. When I lived in California, I always had tequila or vodka in my drinks shelf. Nowadays, it's gin. And Pimm's (a liquor you mix with lemonade and assorted pieces of fruit and cucumber). By the way, British lemonade is like Sprite and not what an American would consider to be lemonade. To clarify, Pimm's is so delicious and I don't know why we don't have it in The States. I could drink vats of it. On warm summer days, I will happily stand on a street corner outside a pub, inhaling bus fumes, drinking pitchers and pitchers of Pimms.

 

4. British people lose their minds on sunny days. There is so much cloud and rain, so when the sun comes out British people go crazy. People are wearing t-shirts and flipflops trying to absorb as much Vitamin D as possible. And when they go to pubs, everyone stands outside the pub soaking in the sun. It doesn't matter if it's a bit cold, you see everyone eating ice cream cones and all the paddlings pools are inflated. 

 

5. British people always seem to be standing in a queue (that's a line). They love waiting in line. You should see them on the street, waiting for a bus. It's crazy. I sometimes cut lines/queues, to my British Husband's horror. heehee

6. British people like the rain. They pretend they don't. But they're always going on about how the grass needs it. And they're obsessed with discussing the weather. And even if it's raining or hailing, Husband will drag me and the kids out to the zoo or some outdoor activity. I don't like to leave the house when it rains. My daughter is lucky that I still take her to school and pick up her when it is raining.

 

7. British people use funny words. They say 'ta' for thank you, 'cheerio' for goodbye, they call the bathroom the 'loo' and they call your butt 'bum'. And they say 'cheers' constantly. I reckon it's because it reminds them of drinking gin.

8. British people are polite. This is related to number five. They act nicely and courteously. Even when they're annoyed with you. Some people say that the British are cold but they just aren't immediately friendly. They're actually pretty nice. Not all of them obviously. Some British people are wankers (that's the American equivalent to a tool). But try finding me a country that doesn't have some wankers. 

9. British people like to curse. Sometimes in anger, sometimes for fun. Friends will call each other 'wanker', or tell each other to 'F**k off'. Husband's friends call each other the C word. You know what I'm talking about. I'm American and we don't say that word.

10. British people have dry, sarcastic humour. I like this. I'm sarcastic. British people get me. They don't at first, because they don't expect an American to be sarcastic. But then they get me.

Please note for the purposes of this blog post, people and characteristics have been oversimplified for the sake of your amusement.

38 thoughts on “Oh The British

  1. A Mum in London

    Haha, really to the point!
    I am an expat too & agree with everything you wrote, and I would add: the barbecues.
    British love their barbecue 🙂

    Reply
  2. Older Mum

    Really enjoyed reading this.... your observations are absolutely spot on, and it just so happens that I have sausages in the oven as I'm typing this *sniggers* :o)

    Reply
  3. Earthmother

    Love this post - it's all so true. We do love a bit of weather don't we? And we do lose our minds on sunny days. Must be the lack of vitamin D. x

    Reply
  4. Alison Perry

    Haha brilliant! Yes, these are all spot on. I love a bit of Pimm's and bus fumes. And I saw a girl wearing a strappy summer dress and flip flops in March. It was a bit sunny, granted, but she must have been (f***ing) freezing.

    Reply
  5. There must be a few of those girls, because I always see some come March at the slightest bit of sun. Up close, you see they have goose bumps from the cold. heehee

    Reply
  6. Laurie Hollman PhD @ Parental Intelligence

    Loving UK and US is one of my pasttimes,too, because my kids and grandkids have lived in both places. Your comments were fun to read and reminded me of lots of good times. Sounds like your family is growing and enjoying. That's the way to do it. I love your photos.
    Best to all,
    Laurie at Parental Intelligence http://lauriehollmanphd.com/blog

    Reply
  7. Ha, you have us Brits pretty much nailed. 🙂 Although if your level of Britishness is dependent on how much gin you drink, I'd fail. As I don't like it.
    The weather though? The reason we go so crackers (crazy) when the sun makes an appearance is the fact it is such a rare occurence - embrace it because if you so much as blink, you've missed it! 😀
    Just stepped outside and one of the neighbours is firing up a BBQ - just checked and it's 19 degrees out there. That's practically tropical lol for round here! 🙂

    Reply
  8. yea! Buster went on (and ON) about getting the paddling pool out today but I held firm. But we ran about half naked in the garden and it was bliss. And you're definitely right about the GIN. I've heard hardly anyone drinks it in US? Say WHAAAAT?! X

    Reply
  9. Katherine Kowalski

    Love this! Next I challenge you to write a post explaining the British use of 'bollocks' and how it differs from 'the dog's bollocks'. Hours of fun.

    Reply
  10. LOVE this Elfa! You clearly have us all figured out. I bet you are so glad to live over here rather than a world without Pimms! the horror.
    Am shocked at your queue jumping confession though tsk tsk x

    Reply
  11. I flipping love this!!! I don't like tea, I love coffee and I'm so impressed that on those American hoarder shows where their houses are stinking pits, they STILL use a coffee perculator! That's dedication! I don't like gin either and I so wish I did. Red wine for me but it does have to be cheap crap! What's with the lemonade thing?! I thought I knew loads about the U.S. But I've learnt something! Is yours what we call "traditional" lemonade? Ours is rank but it's a good drinks mixer. I love that you're straddling the Atlantic Elfa!!! Hahahahaha!

    Reply
  12. Salthwelshgirl

    I think you pretty much have us spot on - except I am not fussed on sausages and hardly ever buy them - unless for a BBQ when my husband particularly likes them for burning. But the gin and Pimms - oh yes! Oh and I think the lemonade thing is weird too - I know my Canadian friends drink something called Fresca as a mixer which I think is pretty much like Sprite or 7 Up. I also love that you like our sense of humour - it is pretty much based on sarcasm and self deprecation!

    Reply
  13. Karen

    This British person is laughing and agreeing... Except I don't like tea. Coffee thanks, but definitely yes to Pimms!

    Reply
  14. I'm commenting on this for the second time cos I love it so much! (I note I first commented nearly a year ago.) You're right. We all went a bit mental today in the sunshine. I think I even got a bit of sunstroke, I'm so unused to it! Great post x

    Reply
  15. annabel

    Good observations! One glaring omission though - pies, pasties, sausage rolls, basically anything wrapped in pastry!!!

    Reply
  16. Pingback:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *