How to Survive the Weekend without Killing your Partner

I think the title gives you a hint as to where I’m going with this. Every Thursday I get so excited as the weekend approaches. Yes, the weekend means fun family time. But it also means two extra hands which help with meals, baths and nappies. Then every Sunday night, as I lay shattered in bed, I remember how ineffective Husband actually is. 
So, here are my top three tips to help you survive the weekend if your partner is as useless little help as mine.
1. Be patient. If your partner works full-time, he/she may not be able to remember all the intricacies of raising a child. It can be tough to remember that children need regular meals, snacks and water. And that healthy children eat fruit AND vegetables.
2. Show compassion. Your partner has had five days peeing in private and eating and drinking whenever they feel hungry and thirsty. They have had five days where they have been mostly treated with respect. Imagine the shock of the weekend. Your partner goes to the loo only for your toddler to barge in and ask to be read a book. Your partner asks your child to tidy up and the child responds by yelling, kicking them in the leg and telling them that they are stinky.
3. Don’t get angry. Yes, your partner has made the kids dinner so you can rest. But when you go into the kitchen, you see that he/she has made a huge mess of pots and pans, yet no vegetables have been made. Stay calm. And when you have to pack nappies, snacks and other necessities for a day outing, plus have to get the kids and yourself ready while your partner quips ‘Are you ready yet?’. Take a deep breath. And when your partner forgets said bag and wallet at home, and leaves the house unlocked. Count to 10 and don’t shout. Because shouting leads to strangling and strangling leads to killing. And we are too cute to go to prison.