Has anyone seen the recent media buzz about Mommy Speed Dating? A room full of mums, all of whom are trying to find their new Mummy BFF. Of course something so cool would be happening in New York. But we’re cool in the UK. So, let’s get it going.
I didn’t do NCT classes with either pregnancy, so I feel like I lost a big part of the British pregnancy friend-making process. I had to use my street skills to make friends–you know, be funny and sarky and keep a stash of chocolate bars to entice mums. It’s a bit tedious going to playgroups and meeting mums at school and having to spend months figuring out who you want in your gang. Mummy Speed Dating would make life a lot easier.
If you had four minutes with each mum, what would you ask? This is how I would suss out my mummy friend soul mate.
BFF Checklist
1. Age Range 25-55.
2. Drinks copious amounts of tea or coffee. And when you are at their house, they always offer you another cup.
3. Is not ashamed to eat the last biscuit or piece of cake, though will always politelyoffer it to me.
4. Never utters the phrase 'I'm so thin, my clothes just hang off me', nor do they say 'It's so annoying, I just eat and eat and never put on any weight'.
5. Does not have a perfect partner. I like to complain about my husband. Not all the time (though he may disagree with that statement), but every once in a while. And I like to hear that other people have partners who are messy or annoying or forgetful.
6. Loves chatting about a variety of subjects, not just how clever their children are.
7. Has a healthy appreciation of American culture. Doesn't say things like 'Americans are taking over, ugh' or 'You're not bad, for an American'. You can make fun of my accent, but be prepared for me to make fun of your accent too.
8. Enjoys silliness. I like to joke. I don't like people giving me strange looks for acting like I'm 12. I also think sarcasm, and often inappropriately sexual jokes, are hilarious.
9. Watches crap telly. It's okay if you also watch serious stuff, but I'd like someone with whom I could discuss The Real Housewives.
10. Likes gin. Or vodka. Or wine. Oh, and I adore mojitos. Okay, any kind of alcohol really. I don't drink often, but I do like the occasional night of booze and rude chat.It's okay if you're teetotal, but don't judge me for drinking too much and dancing on atable.
So, if you tick eight of the 10 points on my checklist, then we could be besties. Drop me a line, we’ll have a mummy playdate and ride off into the softplay together. xx
i don’t drink and don’t watch tv – and may not understand a joke for lack of knowledge of the English language – does that count? 🙂
I’m in the process of getting to know people- mostly at school- and it seems that everyone already has their gang but me. I’m really not that social but sometimes I feel alone (especially because my kids are social and they end up sharing my loneliness)
🙂
Haha you scored well enough, we can be friends. 🙂 I often feel like everyone has a gang but me. I can definitely relate!
Haha! I had no idea this existed. I love your check list although I wouldn’t qualify 😀
Reading that I definitely think we’re soul mates/BBFs!
In fact if you like Disney too, we need to share a large G&T sometime soon!!!!
Ooh, I love Disney (the films and Disneyland). And I love large gin & tonics! Perfect!! 🙂
Love this!! What a great idea.
I am sure we would get on great – anyone who loves gin is fab as far as I am concerned!!
Yea! Looking forward to meeting you at Blogfest!
This is a great idea – much better than paying a fortune for NCT classes (I never did either) or spending all your time trying to figure out mums at baby groups.
I don’t drink tea or coffee (more for you) but other than that I think we could be fwends! 🙂
Jenna at Tinyfootsteps xx
As long as you stock up on tea when I come over for a visit, we’ll be fine! 🙂
Ok, I think I scored quite highly there, what is your opinion on Mums who like to cannonball into the ball pit at soft play? Because I really do enjoy a soft play centre, maybe a little TOO much 😉
I think small children often ruin softplay. If they would ever get out of the way, I would love to cannonball into the ball pit! 🙂
Haha great checklist and I do tick all 10 so I’m definitely bessie mate material 😉
Need proof: I can’t talk about the bell shaped curve in my A-level maths class (it’s actually a thing we have to cover) without giggling, I love mojitos and once was the runner up in a belly dancing on the table competition. I may have been a bit tipsy but I still think I should have won!!!
OMG, that’s awesome. I should have known we’d be a perfect match! We need to meet soon! xx
Hahahahaha this is brilliant Elfa! I’ve been on a Mummy Dates before – you’re right it’s a bit odd, but how else do you find friends as an adult who doesnt work? As far as your checklist goes I can tick all but the Real Housewives box – but if you like Bake off or Strictly then we could be in business (I’m a Chardonnay or a Cosmopolitan girl myself) 😉 !
I love Bake Off and this is my first year watching Strictly (I have finally been in the UK long enough to know who all the z-list celebs are), so I think we can deffo be besties! 🙂
Hurrah! Lets clink some virtual glasses and bitch about the celebs! xx
um i like gin :)))
I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink gin, just wine. But I suppose I have to believe you. 😉 Can’t wait to drink gin with you on Saturday!! xx
This sounds like so much fun! I tick most of those boxes espcially the tea and vodka drinking haha! But I don’t have a little one yet… I’ll get back to you in a few years time.
Anyway still a great post. #Allaboutyou
I know how you feel – I’m finding the school gates a scary place as it feels like everyone already knows each other. Lets raise a glass to bloggy friends at Blogfest. x
Deffo Jude. It’s so hard making small talk when you have no idea if you have anything in common! See you Saturday! xx
I like gin, biscuits, Hubby moaning, cake and I will always look way more tired than you. However, I’ve got twins – that drop crisps everywhere, spill juice and fight over toys….do you still want to be my friend?! Please! Great post. Jess x
We can deffo be friends. I admire anyone who has twins and doesn’t look completely disheveled. I don’t mind mess and craziness, my boy is like a hurricane. 🙂 xx
i get a tick in every one yay! Love gin, love wine, vodka hates me.
I will always offer a second or even third cup because it’s rude not to when your friend has been at your house for 5 hours & they’re thirsty, from talking so much.
I’m not in London but hopefully I still count as a blogger & mum friend
Yea, you sound fab. I will have to settle for bloggy friends as you are not nearby. Such a shame that so many fab ladies live far away. 🙁
I think we definitely have the capacity to be BFFs!! Lovely post ha ha 🙂 xxx
This, I have always known to be the case! xx
That’s bloody brilliant! I’m not a mum yet, to aanyone and everyone that comes my way yes but not actual children. It’s in the critical path for Q1 though haha all going well with the adoption and I am dreading having to push my way into the random local cliques and make mummy friends! Especially as will miss the NCT etc.
Think this is a fab idea. I totally ticked all boxes, though it nearly went horrible wrong when I expected 2 to say drinks copious amounts of tea but when you go to their house they hand you a mug of wine! 😉
Aww, thanks! It’s tough missing out on NCT, but Netmums (through your local site) have a Find a Mum feature that helped me when I was on my maternity leave. 🙂
this is so funny! I also believe I meet all your criteria so this is good 😉
That is no surprise to me! xx
Stringent criteria Elfa, but I think I might pass them all? Maybe? Although I also live across a stretch of water. Damnit!! Let’s be BBFF’s instead? (Best blogging friends forever 🙂 ) xx
Ah yes, BBFFs!!!! Love it! xx
This is a great post. I’m lucky because I DID do an NCT class with my first and it was all bollocks EXCEPT for finding friends (bollocks in that, I failed at having an intervention free birth and was shit at breast feeding….much to my massive distress). But also, I am a massive friends’ slag and I LOVE meeting people! BUT…not at baby groups! I found them excrutiating! I love chatting to people but I like to know that we’re going to have some common ground first. Like wine and silliness (exchange any booze for wine btw). I just can’t get with people who don’t like the silly. I also LOVE Real Housewives and am obsessed with the Kardashians although I know it’s a disgrace to say this in public. Elfa, if we lived close, I’d hope we’d be in each other’s pockets. We can be internet bezzies tho! Mwah!
Ps I’m an American-o-phile and I think the once popular habit of denergrating Americans tasteless and pathetic. Enough already. 😉 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Baby groups are the worse. The thought of them makes me want to weep. I think we would be total BFFs and would probably annoy everyone with our silly sameness. Have you ever thought of living in London? It’s really great! 🙂
Heheh! When we win the lottery (that we don’t even do) then yes! We’ll buy a nice big house in Teddington (where I grew up)! Only cost us a few million! 😉 Until then, it’s internet fun and silliness for you and me, sister! Mwah! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Fab, I await the day you finally buy a lotto ticket and win! haha xx
I tick all of those. Ta da! Yay to BFFs – we shall toast ourselves at Blogfest! Can’t wait to see you. xxx
Yea! Of course you do, you’re ace! 🙂 Can’t wait to see you tomorrow! xx
I recon I might be “the one”…ha! Love this idea but, you know what? I did NCT and the ones I didn’t think I wanted in my gang turned out to be my proper besties – sometimes people are growers not showers, so you are wise to have your checklist!
Thanks for linking up to #AllAboutYou xxx
How did I miss this little beauty?????? Obviously I could be your BFF and I am sad you don’t live nearer. We need more fun in 2015!!! Love you lots xxxxx
You’re lucky you don’t live nearby. Otherwise I’d visit all the time and be a pest. Big hugs! Love you! xx
Okay, so what can I tell you… I like vodka, rubbish tv, inappropriate jokes and my husband is a workaholic – how does that sound? ; )
Sounds perfect. We definitely need a night out soon!