Should We Ignore Aggression In Little Boys?

aggression in boysWe’ve all heard it before, ‘boys will be boys’. Maybe you have even said it. But what does that mean? Why do people seem to think it is okay to excuse bad behaviour in little boys? If your precious little girl began hitting another child, you would be horrified. Why do some people not even bat an eyelid when their son starts beating other children?

Last weekend, we were at Richmond Park. Dubz wanted to play next to a little tree, but another little boy (around the age of four or five) who shouted at him and chased him out with an umbrella. The boy’s parents, lying down on a nearby bench, did not say a word. Dubz still wanted to play at the tree but I had to drag him away as I did not want him to get hurt. Dubz is quite gentle and loves playing near other children, so he did not understand any danger and did not want to leave. Then the little boy’s younger brother started chasing Dubz with an umbrella. Dubz ran back to our group, frightened. But the parents did not say a word, and let the boy chase my son.

I then did what I would not normally do. I raised at my voice at the little boy and asked him to stop chasing my son. This is when the boy’s mother got involved. She came over to inform me that her son just wanted to play with my son. He was just being a two-year old little boy. I somehow managed not to tell her off. I understand that Dubz is tall for his age, and the mum might have figured he was much older than her son. I understand that we should let our children play with constant parental control. But how is it acceptable to let a child chase another child aggressively using the excuse that they are a boy? If her daughter had been chasing my son (she had three other children), then would she have put a stop to this onslaught?

I have seen several instances of little girls playing too rough, and their mothers are always so apologetic. And when little boys act too aggressively, I have noticed that their parents only apologise half the time. As if there is a badge of honour when your little boy is ‘tough’. Some parents even laugh when their little boy hits another child. But would they laugh if it was their little princess bashing another child’s face in?

I feel that children should be taught that it is not okay to be violent towards one another. Yes, my children have fights with each other. But that is the violence that only siblings can commit while still loving each other. I am talking about hitting and kicking other children. Pushing them down. Spitting and biting. And yes, children, especially toddlers do those things. But aren’t we, as parents, suppose to inform them that this is not appropriate behaviour? Aren’t we suppose to guide our children until they know how to behave like decent human beings? A simple, ‘please stop’ or ‘that is not nice’. And you ask your child to apologise, or else you apologise whilst feeling embarrassed. Because even though children can’t always control their aggression, it does not mean that we should laugh it off.

 

And then the fun began...

8 thoughts on “Should We Ignore Aggression In Little Boys?

  1. Sorry that Dubz had such a horrible time at the park hon, it’s rubbish when we see our kids getting picked on. I totally agree that when girls play rough (most of the time) it ends with apologies and embarrassed smiles. I hate the gender stereo typing that goes on with boys, even at 18m people tell me that F does this or that because he’s a boy, drives me up the wall xx

  2. Sounds to me like the other mother in this case has a few reality issues. It’s very hard to generalise. I can’t imagine any of our friends letting their sons behave in this way. I have seen them hit other kids only to be given a very stern telling off. That said I’ve seen other children run pretty much feral. Being the awkward individual I am, I am also wondering why this kid’s father didn’t intervene? I wouldn’t allow my kids to chase another child while holding an umbrella. Harly looks inviting does it?? #Thetruthabout

    1. I think part of the issue may be that some parents, when they have a lot of money, think they are above everyone else. But maybe I’ve just come across a lot of naughty children/laissez-faire rich parents recently.

  3. Oh I just had to comment. There is this one boy at nursery who Munch gives me daily run down about. How he has hit, spit, thrown his lunch and bit other children, to the point he is on a ‘plan’ for his behaviour. But yet his mum upon getting the feedback on collection, quite happily says ‘just boys being boys’! Not concerend one bit. I guess it’s not her kid who is getting pushed about so why should she.

  4. I can’t understand how people can be so blasé about their child’s behaviour – I am always mortified if my child ever gets a bit bashy (fortunately that doesn’t really happen any more except between the two of them!). I could never understand it when our next door neighbours let their little boy essentially just jump and down on his trampoline for ages trying to engage me and the husband in conversation (this is before we had kids) and never once come out and gently remind him that it might be considered rude or invasive of our privacy or whatever. There is a brand of ‘laissez faire’ parenting that is basically just someone else washing their hands of the situation because it ‘isn’t their problem’. Sods! Thanks for linking up hon Xx #thetruthabout

  5. I think sometimes with older kids (usually its boys) at things like soft play, I see a lot of mums sitting back & letting them do what they want. Olivia wants to play with the older ones or where they are & I usually find myself in that awkward situ where she gets pushed over or hit & I need to tell someone else’s kid off with no parent in sight .. possibly as the parent feels they can let them do what they want as they are older/bigger? x

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