The Mummy Meltdown

First there came a struggle over the sippy cup, then came the shaking, followed by shouting. Next the throwing of a lidless sippy cup. Milk was all over the dining room floor. It had even splashed onto my son and his hat. But the anger did not subside with the mess that I had made. I was so angry that I couldn’t see straight. I took my son’s much-beloved trilby and threw it in the bin. Dubz ran off crying. I picked up a tea towel and began wiping up the milk from the floor. My daughter quietly ate her dinner at the table.

After wiping up the milk, I was still shaking. I took a few deep breaths and I picked the hat out of the bin and gave it a wipe. I then took it to Dubz and we hugged. I felt mildly guilty for behaving in such a foul way. But it was almost the end of the Easter holidays and I was beyond tired. My daughter had been up early waking up our entire household most morning of the two week break. Both children would spend the dinner-hour tired and grumpy. Most days I could handle it. Most days I was able to remember that I am the adult. I am the only person, while Husband is at work, with control over their faculties.

But that day. That day I lost it. I am glad that I could not see how I behaved. I am glad that there were no hidden cameras. I was childish and petty and quite horrid. But I am only human. I get tired. I get grumpy. But this is not an excuse. I shouldn’t shout at my children. I don’t like shouting at them. It makes them feel frightened. It sets a bad example for how they should behave. Some people may read this and think that I don’t deserve to be a parent. But we all have bad days. And sometimes we can hide in another room and have a cry. And sometimes we can go for a run or workout at the gym. Sometimes we can hide in the kitchen cabinet and sneak some chocolate. Sometimes we pop open some wine or crack open the gin. And sometimes, sometimes, we have a mummy meltdown.

the mummy meltdown

 

* Please note that the above pic is a re-creation of how I felt that day. I could not quite capture the sadness and anger I felt.

 

And then the fun began...

22 thoughts on “The Mummy Meltdown

  1. OMG I have so been there Elfa!! And I think I have gone through the exact same thought process as you in the aftermath. There have even been times when the kids have ended up comforting me! When you are on your own with them for extended periods of time and good sleep patterns are out the window its inevitable. Anyone who would say you don’t deserve to be a parent is someone who has never experienced this for themselves and if they have then they are either saints or liars. Let’s both turn to brim my mummy’s Don’t beat yourself up guide to tantrums and move on!! Thanks for linking to #therruthabout hon xx

  2. This is something that I keep telling myself that I can’t let happen, but it happens anyway. I even think I need treatment, medicines or whatever to calm me down – thank you for showing me that it is just normal (not ideal, but normal). Let’s just keep trying to behave ourselves knowing we’re not alone (and that’s a lot!)

  3. Oh bless you, I remember those days well. To be honest, I still have them with my teenager! There are times when we just have to let it go…..I think it scares them a little bit and that’s not a bad thing! I wrote a post late last week all about those times and a reassuring message to mums that things do get better. It’s had an enormous response! You’re obviously not alone. x x

  4. Oh my gosh I have definitely had quite a few of those moments…I blame it on hormones personally what else could make you act us like a raging irrational toddler apart from – oh maybe, a raging irrational toddler? 😉 #thetruthabout

  5. Oh lovely. I have been there a lot and I hate myself when it happens. I’ve tried being calmer etc but when you’re overly sleep deprived or grumpy, sometimes it can’t be helped. We try our hardest. Thanks for sharing such an honest post, so many mums (i’d be surprised if not all) have felt like this xx

  6. Oh Hun, it’s awful when you feel like that, isn’t it? To be honest, it’s rare when it doesn’t happen once a week or even more round here. I am not a morning person and I simply can’t deal with the demands, tantrums, spillages. Nice re-creation of ‘distressed mummy’!

  7. You’re not alone! We’ve all been there at some point or another, and you’ve brave to admit it. I think the important thing is that you know it’s not something you’re proud of and you set yourself a higher standard. It’s entirely reasonable to slip below the bar every now and then – no one’s perfect.

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